Aviation Humour

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Aviation Humour

Postby torx » Tue May 03, 2011 12:43 am

A programmer and an engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from Los Angeles to New York.

The programmer leans over to the engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game.

The engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The programmer persists and explains that the game is real easy and is a lot of fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5."

Again, the engineer politely declines and tries to get to sleep.

The programmer, now somewhat agitated, says, "OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $100!"

This catches the engineer's attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game.

The programmer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The engineer doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the programmer.

Now, it's the engineer's turn. He asks the programmer "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?"

The programmer looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers--all to no avail.

After about an hour, he wakes the Engineer and hands him $100. The engineer politely takes the $100 and turns away to try to get back to sleep. The programmer, more than a little miffed, shakes the engineer and asks "Well, so what's the answer?" Without a word, the engineer reaches into his wallet, hands the programmer $5, and turns away to get back to sleep.

-Author Unknown-
Real planes have propellers!
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Re: Aviation Humour

Postby mosumo » Tue May 03, 2011 9:33 pm

:p ,,,i smiled after reading this... brilliant !
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Re: Aviation Humour

Postby torx » Tue May 03, 2011 10:59 pm

I think so too! :^^:
Real planes have propellers!
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Re: Aviation Humour

Postby vineshnair » Thu May 12, 2011 9:13 pm

Lol, good one man
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Re: Aviation Humour

Postby drebarbas » Thu May 19, 2011 7:06 pm

I laughed to tears after reading this, so which female nationality is your choice?? ::D: :-

English totty – Bad-teeth slappers with large memories but generally fun if you can get past the accents. Prone to run to fat.

Aussies –They need a bit of time to work out the games they played back home don’t work here. They’re liable to have been “lebanised” at least once or twice before they figure it out and “lower” themselves to trying a pilot.

S. Africans – Can be a bit weird. Churchy, too, but skilled excavators of rare metals. If you marry one there shouldn't be a problem with whose country to move back to one day.

Kiwis – Funny accent. Not knowing much about the big wide world, they’ll give anything a try.

Koreans – Either devoutly religious or one-pot screamers. Worth a look.

Japanese – Very polite but not much in the titular dept.

Thais – Clingy with pushed-in noses. Silly. Good cooks.

Malaysians – Same noses but with fish-breath thrown in.

Indians – Some beauties to be found if you don’t mind Eau de Curry and a wobbly head.

MELT – (Morroccan, Egyptian, Lebo-nese, Tunisian) The locals fellas don’t go after the Morroccans for nothing, you know... the rest, well, generally surly with the occasional mono-brow. Lazy in the work place = lazy in the sack?

Pilipinose – Expert breeders.

Iranians – Not that many but usually pleasant and occasionally not bad-looking. Not at all crazy like their president. Not sure if they put out though.

Eastern European – No risk of smile lines ever marring their blonde-haired, blue-eyed good looks. Hungry. Handy with a knife. Proceed with caution.

Kenyans - They wear wigs but you can see them a mile away even at night. Some good reviews.

Brazilians - Easily the pick of the lot. Most of their own men are bi-, homo- or trans- sexuals. They're keen to re-locate but hardly
need the extra motivation as their natural outlook easily blows away any of the above. Very good-looking. Broad-minded. Needless to say, the "Brazilian" was aptly-named.

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Re: Aviation Humour

Postby torx » Thu May 19, 2011 10:14 pm

I had a good laugh! Tq Bro drebarbas! :^^:
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Re: Aviation Humour

Postby hush4hire » Tue Jun 07, 2011 4:09 am

this is what i calll humuor
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Re: Aviation Humour

Postby apprentice88 » Fri Oct 14, 2011 11:37 pm

Genius solutions wakaka
"Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some squawks submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.

(P) = Problem (S) = Solution

(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement

(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire

(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough

(S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft

(P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid

(S) #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage

(P) Something loose in cockpit

(S) Something tightened in cockpit

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear

(S) Evidence removed

(P) DME volume unbelievably loud

(S) Volume set to more believable level

(P) Dead bugs on windshield

(S) Live bugs on order

(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent

(S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground

(P) IFF inoperative

(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode (IFF-Identification Friend or Foe)

(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick

(S) That's what they're there for

(P) Number three engine missing

(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search

(P) Aircraft handles funny

(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious

(P) Target Radar hums

(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the lyrics

hehe the maintenance crews must be fed up with the pilot...just for fun ::D:

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